with your own penis?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
