If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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