Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
