I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
