I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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