He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
