i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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