i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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