is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize