ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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