At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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