I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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