and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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