i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
