you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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