So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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