I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
