So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
