So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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