Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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