the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
