somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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