Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh god the rape fog is back!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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