so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
