is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize