hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
