WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
