She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
