Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize