what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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