Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
