brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
