You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
