i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
