i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
