coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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