He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
