His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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