Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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