its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
