Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
