Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
