went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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