So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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