I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
