We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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