I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
