so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
