You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
