What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
