Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Randomize
