I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I came so hard my ears popped.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
