I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
