I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
