Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
