i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
