dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
