He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize