nut hugger
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
