the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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